On traveling, buying things, never making enough and living​ for right now.

Originally written sometime in April 2017. I am typing this as I am on the train to Edinburgh from where in couple hours I will be catching my flight to Spain. I have barely enough money in my bank account to cover my hostel and definitely not enough to live ‘ravish’ for 8 days in Barcelona. I have a steady job that pays my bills, I am making more money than I did when I was on my placement (I was severely underpaid but that’s a story for another day) working full-time. Somehow, I traveled back then when I was…

Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Mental health awareness week #mhaw17.

I have long given up on not wearing shorts and skirts when my knees are bruised because then I would have to wear long trousers all day every day – I’m an extreme case of clumsy, gravity and I have a love/hate frenemy relationship. When I fall and there is blood or a bruise people acknowledge that as an injury, something causing pain. Some struggles can’t be seen by the naked eye, some struggles never really go beyond being in our heads. Today, I want to talk about those struggles. I believe the world’s population is divided into two groups (yes,…

A letter to a friend.

Dear friend, I am writing to you because of this inspiration that’s surging trough my body. I don’t really remember when was the last time I wrote a letter, you know the real kind, but someone not so long ago called me an inspiration and even though I certainly am not one, I feel obligated to write you this letter. As sappy and cliché this sounds, you need to know that you are amazing in every aspect. I’m not a poet or a writer so I will borrow the words from an old friend of mine O. Wilde: ‘You are…

The fear of being alone.

I used to think (foolishly if I may add) that being alone and being lovely was the same thing. I’m not just referring to being relationshipless but also doing things for yourself by yourself, you know alone. Have you seen that silly video floating around internet where in what appears to be a waiting area for doctors or something of that sort, people start randomly standing up after a beep and this one person, who isn’t on this, start’s following suit, because people are like sheep, we can’t stand to be independent and different, but rather follow the crowd hence why peer pressure…

I want to remember…

Be prepared to be hit with a block of cheese in your face wth this post. The beach. I want to remember how sand feels between my fingers, I want to engrave in my memory the pattern of waves. I want to be able to smell the salt in the air in 50 years time, I want to be able to recall the calming swish of the ocean late at night when I have nothing but troubles clouding my mind. I want to remember the blue of the ocean in the dark months of winter and I wish to feel…

What is your biggest fear?

Today my work college from Iran is hosting dinner for twenty people in celebration of the year’s longest night, which is only one second longer than last night was or tomorrow night will be, this is their tradition of showing appreciation for every second. When I was little, I used to fear heights and spiders. Over the year, I’ve developed a new fear, much stronger and much more intimidating than an eight-legged insect (is spider even an incest?). Time is now my biggest fear. I’ve never understood the comfort in saying ‘time will heal you‘ or ‘give it time‘. The…

What was your first time like?

Note, this post was originally published December 16th, 2014 on my old blog, edited November 27th, 2016. I decided to only leave a small extract of the original post as to be honest for the most part the content was rubbish, but I quite liked this one paragraph.  First times is a funny concept, when we are born we are innocent and programmed to love, this is the time span when we tend to experience a lot of firsts – first words, first steps, first teeth, first tears, but with time the firsts take a sharp U-turn and with years…