I love you, and I will miss you terribly. Unfortunately, for unforeseeable future, I’m giving you up (except for the net carb allowance of 20g). I’ve met someone else. Yes, it’s fat and protein, and I’d like to see, where this relationship could head. I hope you understand.
Vegan keto. That’s the new label. I don’t like labels, so we’re taking our love slow. At the moment it’s still a love and hate relationship. This is mainly because I’m still heartbroken over you, carbs.
The official monogamy (or is it polyamory because it’s the three of us – me sandwiched between fat and protein) begins December 1st, Saturday. Why you may ask, I’m giving up the love of my life – potatoes, hummus and cookies? Because I’m bored and I aspire to become a keto legend.
But on a more serious note, I’m breaking up with you because I’d like to improve the quality of my life. Please before you panic, you’ve been a fantastic addition to my life, but I’d like to see what else is out there. Your other lovers (god damn, you always had more lovers than I), I’m sure are happy in their union with you, carbs.
I don’t know how my new relationship will go. But I’m taking it slow, gradually distancing myself from you, carbs. I know what you’re thinking, that I will crawl back to you begging for you to take me back at Christmas. Chances are I will, but it will be only a one night stand, rather than a committed relationship.
Please be happy for me, because I’m excited to see where my new relationship is headed. We can still be friends?
Always in my heart (but no longer in my belly),